Time Out = Time In

Earlier this week Matthew got into a little bit of trouble for speaking disrespectfully to me.  He was upset about something really silly and lost his temper.   My first response was to ground him from a playdate and all electronics the following day.

This time out, or time away from his friends, did not go as expected.   Serendipitously  Megan ended up going to friends the next day after school to play, so it was just Matthew and I.   Rather than send him to his room, I used this time to reconnect with him.  He helped me make some cookies and we just talked with no TV, radio, or computers on in the background.   He was appreciative of not having to be in his room and always likes to bake cookies.   Some of you may argue that I really did not follow through with any consequence, but I actually might suggest that tuning in and spending time in "together" was just the consequence he needed.

Sometimes I think children act out because they need something.   In Matt's case, I think although he may not have known it, he was missing time with me and his only way to get my attention was to shout at me and overreact.   I've been super busy since September - REALLY, REALLY BUSY!   Scott is doing most of the nighttime routines, as well as taking Matt to and from all sporting events.   I do attend some of his games but I am not getting that time to talk in the car that Scott gets.   Anyway, I believe his actions were not just because he is at an age where he is testing, but also because he is still a little boy who doesn't always know how best to communicate his needs, nor even understand his needs.

So we decorated cookies and talked.   As we talked about sports, upcoming Halloween parties, life, and reflections on school, Matt was respectful and kind.  In fact, he was lovely and a delight to be around.  I did bring up the behaviour from the day before and he was able to see how his behaviour was inappropriate and together we talked about how he could address his needs/concerns in the future.

I am so glad I didn't send him to his room because I would have missed out on this opportunity to really see and reflect on the situation.   As well, I guarantee he would not have listened or discussed the situation with such calm, remorse, and understanding as he did after I had spent some time one-on-one, just he and I baking cookies.

I am certainly not a perfect parent and a lot of times I get it wrong ~ so I am thankful for this time where I think I got it right!

Being Thankful

On this beautiful Thanksgiving weekend, I cherished some quiet time with my family and had fun at Thanksgiving dinner at my parents place on Sunday night with 20 family or like-family friends.   Saturday I was able to sleep in and my children happily entertained themselves.   When I think about some of the many things I am thankful for, mornings like this rank pretty high.

I am thankful that my children still find joy in the creation of things where they can demonstrate their imaginations.   M&M took to putting together several puzzles, creating a "puzzle gallery" for their cousins to see when they came over later in the day.

Matthew worked on a stop-motion animation film of his Gogos battling all weekend long!  He was so proud of his video when it was done...  over 512 still pictures!  I was proud too :)

I am also thankful that Scott had some down time too.   He has been taking over a lot of the parenting things these days when I am working on my studies.   So it pleased me to see him enjoying time outside watering the lawn and picking at the flowers.   I do love my husband ~ sometimes he reminds me of Ferdinand the Bull.   If you have never read this classic story, you should!   Scott truly loves to stand with the hose and water and admire his grass (even though we have a sprinkler system).   I find it very endearing.

I'm also very thankful for the warm sunny fall days we continue to enjoy. When I look outside I still can't believe it is October and my sweet peas continue to bloom.    The mountains on my drive to work in the morning are simply stunning and make the traffic bearable.

Some other many things I am thankful for include:

• My mom has begun her 11th year of being cancer free this week.   Her miracle medicine Gleevec continues to chase away the Philadelphia chromosones that caused her leukaemia.
• Scott's Dad celebrated his 65th birthday this week.   What a wonderful milestone to reach such an age with great health and happiness. 
• Family and Friends - parents, sisters, brothers, grandparents, cousins, aunties, uncles, and friends who are like family.   Time with these people is so special.   I know I don't say it often enough to these people but I love my peeps... even if they make me crazy on occasion.
• Traditions - We headed to the Westham Island Herb Farm for the ninth year in a row with the kids.   It never gets old... just more fun!   I love watching them search for the biggest pumpkin they can find and then struggle to carry it to the wheelbarrow.   The gourds and pumpkins are a sight to behold.   This farm also has a small haunted house and some animals... a donkey, goats, chickens, and a hairy cow (not sure what it is called!)   
• My Neighbours - I appreciate all the growing caring friendships, the discussions that take place on the road, chit-chats, smiles, and waves of hello from those we know less well.   I appreciate how my neighbours take a genuine interest in my kiddies and support them by buying Girl Guide cookies and Purdy's chocolate bars.   I like how the kids in my neighbourhood play together and still knock on each other's doors to ask to come out to play.   I love how everyone looks out for each other's kids while driving down the road and returns things like hoodies left behind on the road to their rightful owners.   And when I am baking I really like that I can call next door to get an egg or other missing item!  
• The ability to Laugh - even little giggles - they are little burst of energy for me!

Having fun at the Herb Farm Pumpkin Patch with cousin Charlotte.

Aunty Julie took a family shot!

Matt loves the BIG pumpkins!

Wanting a Dog...

This digital video was sent to my email yesterday.   I just watched it and had such a laugh.   Megan made it yesterday (without help, I should add).   It will give you an idea of a recurring conversation we have had with both her and Matthew for the past several months.

When you click on the black square screen, it will take several moments to load...



I love how in the story it was the mom who said "no" and the dad has three eyes.   In our house it is actually Scott who is most opposed to getting a dog.   I am not saying that I want one but I am more open about it.   I have promised the kids that once my Masters is finished we will be willing to further the discussion but until then, the answer is "no, we are not getting a dog!"

On a side note, I am overwhelmed with happiness when I see children use technology to produce and create.   This is one of the pros of Ipads... they can be used for so much more than just consumption... you just need to load the right apps!