Thursday 23 June 2016

June: A Month of Bittersweet Happiness

Typically the month of June is full of happiness for my family. It is filled with many celebrations including both kids birthdays, father's day, year-end dance shows, sport's day, final sports tournaments, excitement for summer and so on. I think those of you that know me know that I take great joy and happiness from these moments. I love being a mom and look forward to finding ways to celebrate M & M. This June is extra special because it marks a milestone for Matthew; he completes Grade Seven and will be moving on to high school. I am so proud of the young man he has become and can't believe he is now a teenager.

... and my baby boy is now 13!
This June though, my emotions have been mixed. Along with all the happiness that typically fills my heart, I have had intense feelings of sadness and grief. I am missing my mom. Although I am slowly adjusting to life without her, I wish she were here to celebrate with me. I long to see her smiling, proud face and hear her voice and her laughter. I would give anything to be wrapped in one of her loving hugs and feel her presence. I think I have cried more this month than I did when she passed in February. People say all the "firsts" are tough and they are right. I do know in my heart that my mom is in a better place and although she is not physically here, she is somewhere looking down and happy... but selfishly I ache for more.
Megan did so well this year in dance!

Next week Matthew has his Grade Seven dinner on Monday night and Tuesday is the final farewell assembly. I am so excited for Matt but also know that in these wonderful moments I will be challenged to adjust to a different kind of happiness - bittersweet...
That is Matthew at Sport's Day sitting on my lap!
Matt's team is heading to the Provincials!