New Parenting Struggles

Today I had one of those parenting moments that I knew was coming, but was unprepared for...

My wonderful, sensitive son burst into tears this afternoon when I said I had something I wanted to talk to him about.  Suprised and worried by his tears, I asked what was wrong.   He said "you know" (I actually didn't and am always shocked when Matthew says this to me, as he often does when he is upset!)   I had wanted to discuss spending money at the nearby golf shop - nothing anywhere near worthy of tears.   He went on to tell me that he was worried about something that happened at school.  Apparently Matthew and a little girl worked together today on a project and he expressed that he liked her - to which she responded with a gasp, giggles and said something about telling her mom.

Everything beyond this point is a bit muddled...  but what is certain is that word that Matthew had a "crush" (which he vehemently denies) on someone spread to several of his friends. He was crying because felt that he would be in trouble from the little girl's parents and because he wanted the teasing that ensued from this incident to stop.   (Gulp!)

So many lessons...  we talked and I hugged him.  I tried to reassure him and teach him that:

• it is ok to feel feelings for others, and it was kind that he complimented this little girl 
• crushes are ok too - but I understood that this was not the case... but I quietly added that if he was feeling new feelings similar to a crush - it was normal and could understand that this may feel strange
• sometimes people get embarrassed by attention and don't always react the way we would like or expect them to
• parents do NOT get upset if someone says they like their child (still not sure where this notion has come from)
• teasing is mean and that he needs to tell his friends that although they may find it funny, it upsets him... 

Matthew a few years ago...

Ahhhhh... my heart continues to ache for him. Scott took him out to play some street hockey to distract him and get his mind off things, which really helped.

I think what was most difficult about this situation for me was that I couldn't kiss him, give him a band-aid, or figure a way to quickly make him feel better.   This time the hurt was unlike others, and I knew it.   Regardless of what we talked about and how long I cuddled him, his heart is still bruised.  He was thinking about the incident as he fell asleep tonight and questioned whether or not he had to go to school tomorrow.  This is one of those parenting moments I have long known was coming, but am sad arrived so soon... my powers to make it all better are fading!