To understand and know JOY

Every January it seems many of us reflect on our own lives and seek to improve ourselves by committing to an act.  For some it is going to the gym, losing weight, attending church on a regular basis, and so on.  Personally I have never found myself to be very good at maintaining the resolutions I impose on myself.  For the past few years, inspired by a couple of friend’s I have instead chose to focus on a word of the year.  They began this tradition inspired by Ali Edwards, who facilitates the One Little Word Workshop.  Edwards writes

Having a single word to focus on each year has made a difference in my life. In 2006 I began a tradition of choosing one word for myself each January – a word that I can focus on, mediate on, and reflect upon as I go about my daily life. My words have included play, peace, vitality, nurture, story, light, up and open. These words have each become a part of my life in one way or another. They’ve been imbedded into who I am, and into who I’m becoming. They’ve been what I’ve needed (and didn’t know I needed). They’ve helped me to breathe deeper, to see clearer, and to grow.

What do you do with this one little word?  You live with it. You invite it into you life. You let it speak to you. You might even follow where it leads. There are so many possibilities.  http://aliedwards.com/shop/one-little-word-2014

This year my word came to me early.  Having recently finished my Masters, during the fall I found myself a bit lost. I had spent the majority of the previous two years outside of teaching and keeping my family fed and happy, immersed in reading and writing, and online discussions.  When faced with an abundance of time, I had almost forgotten who I used to be and what used to bring me pleasure.  It was then that I knew my word for 2014 must be JOY!  I had to rediscover that which brought me happiness.

The recent holiday season brought many joyous moments... watching the kids open presents Christmas morning, baking with them, parties, time with friends, getting together with family, movies, spending a night at a hotel for New Year's Eve with the kids (thanks to Lisa for that great idea!), and so on!  It truly was a wonderful holiday.

We spent the last few days of the holiday watching Matthew play hockey in the South Delta "Party in Da House" tournament.  This is such a fun event for everyone involved.  Unlike regular season games, there is music, raffle tickets, and far more spectators. Additionally, this is the one time in the season that the Delta teams get to play each other rather than teams from other cities.  Matthew, like most of the other players, really looks forward to playing many of his friends' teams.  His team played terrible the first game.  It was evident that they had not practiced for over three weeks.  But during the second game and those that followed, the team played really well!  As Matthew's team continued to advance, we were all caught a bit by surprise, having never gone this far in this tournament before.  

Sunday morning I stayed home with Megan as she had a friend over for a sleepover and didn't want to go to yet another hockey game.  Matt and Scott left for the game.  This one was important, as the winner would move ahead to the final game of the tournament.  Scott kept his parents and I updated with the events of the game via texts.  It was a very close game that went to a shoot out.  As a parent of the goalie, shootouts can be very stressful!  Matt's team won and everyone could not have been happier!  Matthew was quick to place calls to all the family to ensure they would be in attendance at the final game!

The final game began at 3 p.m.  It started out well.  We were up by 2 goals but the other team soon caught up.  We went to the second period tied but by the end the other team was up by two goals. Matt's team played hard but it just was not meant to be.  They were defeated and for the first time in Matthew's life I saw him fill with sorrow in a way I had not seen before.   Scott and I watched from behind the glass as Matthew seemed to fall over... not to the ice but his upper body lowered with his head hovering over his knees.  He stayed there for several moments.  Scott and I both looked at each other and without saying anything, we knew exactly what Matt was feeling.  He was overcome with extreme disappointment.  

As I watched unable to say anything to him, I remembered a page in a favourite book I gave Megan called Someday by Alison McGee.  It this moving book, McGee details her wishes for her daughter's life... wishes for her to experience great joys, to stretch, to grow, and do all the things possible in life so that she lives it to the fullest.

Later Sunday night as I tucked Matthew in to bed he and I talked about the game and how he was feeling.  Understanding the loss, but without tears, he commented "We were so close... so close".

As I went off to sleep, I was comforted by the fact that Matthew was able to endure such disappointment.  In life I believe we cannot truly come to know and understand JOY without knowing sorrow and disappointment and although what he experienced was difficult, in the end Scott and I know he will be a better person because of it.    

Treasures!

If you don't live in Delta, you may not know about the annual Spring Clean Up.  Everyone is allowed to place whatever they don't want out on the curb.   Items such as broken furniture, old couches, baskets, electronics, sporting goods, toys, and so on are left at the end of the driveways.   I personally view the items as junk and look forward to when the good people who collect our garbage take it all away.

Many people, like my son Matthew, eagerly look forward to this clean up and enjoy searching for items they can recycle and put to good use.   Matthew happily trolled the neighbourhood earlier this week and was thrilled to find hockey sticks left out for garbage, that he could add to his collection.   He also found a net too... that surprisingly was in good shape.  

What I did not expect was a decrepit picture of a tree framed in brass from the 80's that he enthusiastically brought home and thought would look good in our living room.   It bothered me to crush his excitement, but I  had to politely say that we had no room on the walls and requested that he take it back to the curb.   Hours later I had to have a talk about lice when he brought home a bunch of ball hats that were well worn, turning brown and stunk.   My boy and his love of collections - hats, Pokemon and Yugioh -cards, hockey pucks, cards and sticks, sports team t-shirts, Smurfs from McDonalds (yep, we have em' all), and the list goes on!

I had a chuckle to myself when he called me on my cell phone Monday afternoon and asked me not to park in the garage.  He was bursting to tell me he had organized his hockey stuff in the garage and did NOT want to have to clean it up.  He begged me to park on the driveway.   Below is a picture of some of his new found treasures...   

These extra sticks and net will come in handy in June when he has is hockey themed 9th birthday party.   Yes, it is still two months away, but Matthew has already created a list of who he wants invited, written his invitations (I won't let him deliver them yet!), created a schedule of the road hockey tournament he wants to take place, and has asked me to design t-shirts for the players.   He also continues to seek ideas for his hockey cake (which I will make) on the internet.   Matthew's love and ability in sports certainly did not come from me... but his passion for planning and organizing parties - what can I say - he is his momma's son!  

Wrap ups

This weekend saw the end of Matthew's regular season hockey and soccer play.  His hockey team played a great game against another South Delta team and lost by one.  It was the other team's first win of the season and the smiles on their faces were well worth the loss.  Matthew has such a love of the game, it is always fun to watch him play and listen to his commentary after the game!

The fall/winter is a busy time in our family.  Megan skates twice a week for 2 hours each time (1 hour off ice training and 1 hour on ice), dances Thursdays for 2 hours, and attends Sparks on Tuesday nights (I am one of her leaders).  Matthew plays both hockey and soccer.   Scott is also one of the coaches of Matt's soccer team.   Matthew thrives on being active and being outside and never complains about going to anything.   Megan, on the other hand has been less enthusiastic these past few months about skating.   I wish the "intensity" of the activities didn't have to heighten as the kids aged.  The increased time at the ice rink this year took the 'fun' out of it for Megan.   She does love to skate but also loves to come home from school and relax or have friends over to play.   This year the balance scale was tipped too much towards sports.  This Friday is the big skating show and although we look forward to event, we are also happy to see it end.  Next year, we definitely plan to scale her activities down.

Saturday afternoon Matthew warmed up from his day at the soccer jamboree with a nice, warm, bubble bath!