Wednesday 30 May 2012
A random wonder...
Thursday 24 May 2012
New Parenting Struggles
Today I had one of those parenting moments that I knew was coming, but was unprepared for...
My wonderful, sensitive son burst into tears this afternoon when I said I had something I wanted to talk to him about. Suprised and worried by his tears, I asked what was wrong. He said "you know" (I actually didn't and am always shocked when Matthew says this to me, as he often does when he is upset!) I had wanted to discuss spending money at the nearby golf shop - nothing anywhere near worthy of tears. He went on to tell me that he was worried about something that happened at school. Apparently Matthew and a little girl worked together today on a project and he expressed that he liked her - to which she responded with a gasp, giggles and said something about telling her mom.
Everything beyond this point is a bit muddled... but what is certain is that word that Matthew had a "crush" (which he vehemently denies) on someone spread to several of his friends. He was crying because felt that he would be in trouble from the little girl's parents and because he wanted the teasing that ensued from this incident to stop. (Gulp!)
So many lessons... we talked and I hugged him. I tried to reassure him and teach him that:
Ahhhhh... my heart continues to ache for him. Scott took him out to play some street hockey to distract him and get his mind off things, which really helped.
I think what was most difficult about this situation for me was that I couldn't kiss him, give him a band-aid, or figure a way to quickly make him feel better. This time the hurt was unlike others, and I knew it. Regardless of what we talked about and how long I cuddled him, his heart is still bruised. He was thinking about the incident as he fell asleep tonight and questioned whether or not he had to go to school tomorrow. This is one of those parenting moments I have long known was coming, but am sad arrived so soon... my powers to make it all better are fading!
My wonderful, sensitive son burst into tears this afternoon when I said I had something I wanted to talk to him about. Suprised and worried by his tears, I asked what was wrong. He said "you know" (I actually didn't and am always shocked when Matthew says this to me, as he often does when he is upset!) I had wanted to discuss spending money at the nearby golf shop - nothing anywhere near worthy of tears. He went on to tell me that he was worried about something that happened at school. Apparently Matthew and a little girl worked together today on a project and he expressed that he liked her - to which she responded with a gasp, giggles and said something about telling her mom.
Everything beyond this point is a bit muddled... but what is certain is that word that Matthew had a "crush" (which he vehemently denies) on someone spread to several of his friends. He was crying because felt that he would be in trouble from the little girl's parents and because he wanted the teasing that ensued from this incident to stop. (Gulp!)
So many lessons... we talked and I hugged him. I tried to reassure him and teach him that:
- it is ok to feel feelings for others, and it was kind that he complimented this little girl
- crushes are ok too - but I understood that this was not the case... but I quietly added that if he was feeling new feelings similar to a crush - it was normal and could understand that this may feel strange
- sometimes people get embarrassed by attention and don't always react the way we would like or expect them to
- parents do NOT get upset if someone says they like their child (still not sure where this notion has come from)
- teasing is mean and that he needs to tell his friends that although they may find it funny, it upsets him...
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| Matthew a few years ago... |
I think what was most difficult about this situation for me was that I couldn't kiss him, give him a band-aid, or figure a way to quickly make him feel better. This time the hurt was unlike others, and I knew it. Regardless of what we talked about and how long I cuddled him, his heart is still bruised. He was thinking about the incident as he fell asleep tonight and questioned whether or not he had to go to school tomorrow. This is one of those parenting moments I have long known was coming, but am sad arrived so soon... my powers to make it all better are fading!
Sunday 20 May 2012
Delights Rediscovered in May
The sunshine has left our little part of the world for a few days - but while it was here, it was enjoyed! So far the fence has been painted, flowers have been planted, and we have had two visits to the beach. We've begun bike riding, bocce games, early evening play at the park, icecream/ Slurpee outings, and yesterday the kids set up the first lemonade stand of the season.
Earlier this week Megan and I were treated to a WhiteSpot dinner by my niece Charlotte, who had won a gift certificate. We were here "chosen guests" that she wanted to treat. I could see the envious eyes of others seated around me, as I was able to enjoy these two lovely little ladies and their stories, giggles, chatter and smiles... a great night!
On a bittersweet note Megan's and I said farewell to our friends at Sparks. Being a leader these past two years has been so much fun! Megan truly loved going to Sparks... it was the highlight of her week and to see the twinkle in her eyes when she called me "Topaz" (my Sparky name) melted my heart. Next she plans to join Brownies, but I will not be joining her as a leader.
Hope everyone is enjoying the long weekend - I still cannot believe that we are in MAY!
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| Fish and chips at Pajo's in Steveston with Karen and Frank. |
Earlier this week Megan and I were treated to a WhiteSpot dinner by my niece Charlotte, who had won a gift certificate. We were here "chosen guests" that she wanted to treat. I could see the envious eyes of others seated around me, as I was able to enjoy these two lovely little ladies and their stories, giggles, chatter and smiles... a great night!
On a bittersweet note Megan's and I said farewell to our friends at Sparks. Being a leader these past two years has been so much fun! Megan truly loved going to Sparks... it was the highlight of her week and to see the twinkle in her eyes when she called me "Topaz" (my Sparky name) melted my heart. Next she plans to join Brownies, but I will not be joining her as a leader.
Hope everyone is enjoying the long weekend - I still cannot believe that we are in MAY!
Thursday 17 May 2012
Gratitude
In keeping with the theme a few posts ago... here is my Top Ten List of things I am grateful for today:
1. sunshine
2. long weekends with a few planned activities
3. my van is clean
4. great recipes
5. Karen - my teaching partner
6. a wonderful class
7. hummingbirds
8. morning coffee
9. cover-up
10. sunshine - yup, it makes the list twice!
1. sunshine
2. long weekends with a few planned activities
3. my van is clean
4. great recipes
5. Karen - my teaching partner
6. a wonderful class
7. hummingbirds
8. morning coffee
9. cover-up
10. sunshine - yup, it makes the list twice!
Monday 14 May 2012
Reflections on Motherhood
As I reflect on Mother's Day, I have come to realize that I am one of the lucky people in this world who has grown up with a wonderful mother. My mother is always there for me, my husband, my kids or my siblings. She cooks dinner for my family so I can stay late at school on Thursday nights, cleans/tidies my house, occasionally shops for me, takes my kids to give Scott and I breaks, listens to me, bakes and shares these goodies, and the list goes on and on. When I was growing up she worked as a teacher full-time for many years juggling motherhood and a career, and rarely put herself first. She created many special traditions for our family and often went without, to give us things like name-brand clothing. Those who know her best, know not to give her a gift card because she will give it away to someone she thinks needs it more. Like all moms, sometimes she gets under my skin... She'll give advice (sometimes unsolicited) as mother's often do, but her advice challenges me to think of new ideas/possiblities and even when I disagree with her, I know she respects me. I am so blessed to have her in my life. 
Twelve years ago, she was diagnosed with leukaemia. Since then she has had a successful bone marrow transplant and continues to take pills daily to keep her healthy. When I hear other peoples stories of cancer, I think she is a walking miracle. I don't know how she does it. She is as busy as I am and is twice my age! For many years right after her operation I was good at communicating how much I loved her and how much I appreciated her. Lately though as my life has become more busy, I don't tell her as much as I should. When I reflect on the mother that I am... I know that 90% of it is because of her. I bake, cook, clean, do a ton of things with my kids, create and continue traditions, love unconditionally and work hard to balance life as a mom with a career, and now also as a student. I also surround myself with other great moms, as my mom did and in doing so I have become a better person, friend and mother. I take time for myself, unlike my mom and can lose my patience easily... but overall my kids know I love them (even when I am not pleased with some of their behaviours).
Thinking about the "job"of motherhood - as difficult as it is, with all its challenges... and there are many - becoming a mom has made me a better person. Just when I think I have no more to give, I hear my children calling "Mommy" in the middle of the night and I am there. I either crawl in with them or they crawl in with me. When I remember at the end of a long day, that cupcakes are needed for a school festivity, I bake and get to bed late. And when I feel like taking a nap on the couch on a Sunday afternoon, I don't. Instead, I muster up energy from within to become my children's biggest fan and cheer them on at baseball/hockey/soccer games. This is the life of a mom. It is no longer about me - life if about them/us/family!
But it isn't all just giving. The joy and love I receive from my two little bunnies is something I am forever grateful for. The enrich my life in more ways that I ever could have imagined. I feel so lucky to get to see the world through their eyes. They energize me, challenge me, take me to extremes (good and bad), and nothing makes me more happy than being M&M's mommy!
This Mother's Day weekend was wonderful! My husband painted the fence for me (a request I placed 2 years ago), we went for dinner as a family on Saturday night, and Sunday just the kids and I went to the beach during the day (Scott was still painting), we stopped at DQ, and then had Scott's parents over for dinner. Tomorrow at my mom's request, we are going to head down to the States for some one-on-one time and shopping.
Happy Belated Mother's Day to all my Mommy Friends!!! I hope you all had a wonderful day too!
Monday 7 May 2012
Happiness
Life is so full these days... kiddies schedules combined with work schedules, combined with my school schedule and necessities of life such as grocery shopping, cleaning and of course sleeping. As much as I try to keep balance, there are always moments of chaos, stress, frustration, and occasional tears. But for the most part - when I reflect on my day to day life, I am a happy person.
Saturday I attended a conference at UBC and one of the sessions I went to discussed the importance of happiness with respect to individual and group learning. The researchers Dr. Karen Armstrong and Hiren Mistry are investigating is there is any relationship between happiness as a state of mind and the ability to learn. This caused me to wonder if I, as a learner was affected by my own state of happiness.
I pondered this on my long, beautiful drive out to Camp Elkgrove in Abbotsford where I met Megan at Sparks camp. We had a wonderful time! Lots of HAPPINESS!!! For 24 hours I was fully present with Megan, celebrating and assisting in her love of crafts, play, singing, cuddles and hanging with friends. Sweet little thing had tears last night as she realized that there will be no more Mother-Daughter Sparks camps for her, as next year she becomes a Brownie.
Sunday after arriving home, I showered, dressed and was out the door to a baby shower for a friend. I really should have been at home working on two Masters assignments, but the shower was for a close friend and I wanted to be there with her, to join in the celebration of her little baby to be.
As I returned home close to dinner, I was overcome with the stress. I have a lot of work left to do on my assignments and only have two days off this week. Added to this, I struggled with the decision as to whether or not to continue with a second class this term. This second course is online and would have begun tomorrow. The specific kindergarten content of the class would have benefited me in my new position at UBC next year should I advise Teacher Candidates in the Kindergarten and Primary Cohort. The flip side is that should I be moved to a K-7 cohort (which is a possibility) it might not be as relevant. The assignments required for this course are very heavy. I had been warned by my advisor and other teachers who had taken this class, that I should be prepared to work extremely hard.
Reflecting on my thoughts about happiness, I retreated to my bedroom early in the night to be alone with my thoughts. Feeling the stress tonight, as I did, I could not focus on my assignments and had to put them aside until I was in a better frame of mind. My mind was spinning and my mood was blue. As difficult as it was, I made the decision to withdraw from the second course. Balance and happiness are important. Taking two courses this term would have been far too challenging and would have left me very unhappy. I doubt that I would have been able to be successful in both course which would have upset me. Dropping the class means I now need to take a one-week intensive course this summer but I am at peace with that.
I look forward to reading the researchers final article. I can't wait to see their results. If I am any example, my own state of happiness would be a strong predictor of my ability as a learner. How does your state of happiness affect you?
Saturday I attended a conference at UBC and one of the sessions I went to discussed the importance of happiness with respect to individual and group learning. The researchers Dr. Karen Armstrong and Hiren Mistry are investigating is there is any relationship between happiness as a state of mind and the ability to learn. This caused me to wonder if I, as a learner was affected by my own state of happiness.
I pondered this on my long, beautiful drive out to Camp Elkgrove in Abbotsford where I met Megan at Sparks camp. We had a wonderful time! Lots of HAPPINESS!!! For 24 hours I was fully present with Megan, celebrating and assisting in her love of crafts, play, singing, cuddles and hanging with friends. Sweet little thing had tears last night as she realized that there will be no more Mother-Daughter Sparks camps for her, as next year she becomes a Brownie.
Sunday after arriving home, I showered, dressed and was out the door to a baby shower for a friend. I really should have been at home working on two Masters assignments, but the shower was for a close friend and I wanted to be there with her, to join in the celebration of her little baby to be.
As I returned home close to dinner, I was overcome with the stress. I have a lot of work left to do on my assignments and only have two days off this week. Added to this, I struggled with the decision as to whether or not to continue with a second class this term. This second course is online and would have begun tomorrow. The specific kindergarten content of the class would have benefited me in my new position at UBC next year should I advise Teacher Candidates in the Kindergarten and Primary Cohort. The flip side is that should I be moved to a K-7 cohort (which is a possibility) it might not be as relevant. The assignments required for this course are very heavy. I had been warned by my advisor and other teachers who had taken this class, that I should be prepared to work extremely hard.
Reflecting on my thoughts about happiness, I retreated to my bedroom early in the night to be alone with my thoughts. Feeling the stress tonight, as I did, I could not focus on my assignments and had to put them aside until I was in a better frame of mind. My mind was spinning and my mood was blue. As difficult as it was, I made the decision to withdraw from the second course. Balance and happiness are important. Taking two courses this term would have been far too challenging and would have left me very unhappy. I doubt that I would have been able to be successful in both course which would have upset me. Dropping the class means I now need to take a one-week intensive course this summer but I am at peace with that.
I look forward to reading the researchers final article. I can't wait to see their results. If I am any example, my own state of happiness would be a strong predictor of my ability as a learner. How does your state of happiness affect you?
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| Megan LOVED the cabin! |
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| The bell! |
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| Playing games... |
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| Singing and stories all snuggled up in camp blankets! |
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