I am still in a bit of disbelief that 2016 has left us and 2017 has begun. For those of you that read my blog, you know that rather than have "New Year's resolutions", instead I prefer to chose a word to focus on throughout the year. More explanations about this can be found on my first blog post, back in 2012. My "Word of the Year" last year was supposed to be happiness.
It started out well and good, until mid-February when life as I knew it, shattered. Happiness was a distant feeling for many months and even when it did arrive, it wasn't the same as I had known it. Instead, it was tainted with the bitterness of not having my mom around to share in the joy. But to say that I had no moments of happiness in 2016 would be incorrect. There were many times, such as Matthew's Grade Seven graduation, 10 days in the summer with my Aunt Debbie and cousin Colleen, watching Megan dance, etc. where I felt joyful, but mixed in with the smiles and happiness, there remains a deep, embedded wound of missing of my mom. This February will mark the one year anniversary of her unexpected passing and I am hopeful that having surmounted all the "firsts" of this year, true happiness (without the after-bite of missing my mom) will become more abundant. I hope to come to some form of acceptance that although she isn't here with me in the form that I wish she was, that she is still here with us and able to see and feel all the wonderful things we experience here on Earth.
Picking my word of the year was more challenging than years past, when words typically came to me in the fall. I couldn't find any word that fit. It wasn't until enduring some quiet, heartfelt days over the holidays and reflecting on the past year that I realized this year, more than ever before I need to focus on "hygge".
Hygge, pronounced "HUY-gah" is a Danish word. There really is no English translation for the word. The closest words would be comfort, well-being, togetherness, or coziness. Hygee is hard to translate because although it can be related to physical surroundings, and how people relate to one and other, in its complete essence, it is a mental state. One definition I read stated "it is a practical way of creating sanctuary in the very middle of real life". Hygee can be found in lit candles, a warm fire, a walk with a friend, listening to music, a soft pair of socks, a favourite old t-shirt, the smell of sweet peas or another favourite flower, and so on. It also comes from spending time with loved ones in uneventful ways. It doesn't call for fancy or excitement, just togetherness.
Perhaps, the best definition of hygge, one which spoke to my heart was by Louisa Thomsen Brits, who has written a book on the subject. She believes that hygge is "a state of mindfulness: how to make mundane tasks dignified, joyful, and beautiful, how to live life connected with loved ones". I truly can't think of anything better.
So on this last night of holidays, I am about to seek hygee in my kitchen as I make some pumpkin muffins for tomorrow morning, pour a cup of tea, and cozy up on the couch with a book. And tomorrow I will return to work with my inner city students whom I hope I provide some hygee through our daily interactions. Goodness knows they provide me with it!
